Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Mason's Stache Doesn't Make the Cut


Brian
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

CALGARY - Alberta's NDP Leader Brian Mason's mo is no more.

Yup, we mean it. The patented cropped-English-style-tickler was pared back prior to Mason's appearance at the Calgary & District Labour Council Labour Day BBQ over the long weekend.

An insider source told the Alberta Report today that the no-mo move shows that Mason is prepared to make the tough decisions.

"Mason is bearing it all for the electorate," she said. "He's showing voters that he's prepared to make the tough cuts - and just like Stelmach's carbon capture scheme, it was time for the cookie duster to hit the trail."

The Mason soup-strainer had been in full effect for the extent of his political career, which hits the 20 year-mark this year with a celebration at the 2009 Alberta NDP Convention this weekend.

Articles abound on the death of the political mustache. But Mason's lip warmer was a bristly reminder that he was no Conservative.

In fact, Mason's flavour-saver proved to be an inspiration on the Alberta political scene, leading to a 12% rise in soup-strainers upon candidates for public office in Alberta since 1989.

On the federal scene, 'stache-laden leaders have risen 100% since the ascendancy of Mason's power stache in 1989, despite the stache-bashing of naysayers.

The man who made the Alberta political scene safe for mustaches couldn't be reached for comment, but Winston Churchill was once told by a woman that she did not like his politics or his mustache. The prime minister replied, “Madam, you are not likely to come in contact with either.”

We don't know how that's relevant. But it's damn funny.

comments

4 Responses to "Mason's Stache Doesn't Make the Cut"
  1. Brookes Merritt said...
    September 8, 2009 at 6:00:00 PM MDT

    Fakery! Fibbery! Fiction!

    I'm pleased to report that Mr. Mason's famous moustache remains in full effect.

    This photo has obviously been altered, and on behalf of Mr. Mason I demand this post be retracted immediately - lest NDP lawyers come knocking at your door ;-)

    Brookes Merritt
    Director of Communications
    Alberta NDP Caucus

  2. Alberta Report Editorial Collective said...
    September 8, 2009 at 7:29:00 PM MDT

    Keep a stiff upper lip folks, this is clearly a cover-up. We English degree types just aren't good enough with "the photoshopping" or however the hell it's referred to. The Mason mad scientist twirly is clearly no more!

  3. Denny said...
    September 8, 2009 at 10:49:00 PM MDT

    Bah, if he actually shaved off the 'stache after having it for over twenty years he'd have a lot more of a tan line on his lip than that.

  4. Travis Chase said...
    September 8, 2009 at 11:12:00 PM MDT

    He's like a whole other politician under that thing, I honestly didn't know who that was lol

 
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